Hello again! My name is still Doron Loewenberg, and I am no longer considered a new writer at The Sentinel. In fact, I am now the Odds and Ends editor for The Sentinel, so now there is no longer a barrier to stop my attacks on sensible journalism. With that grim thought in all of your minds, onto the next round of article-ing!

Viewing Finals: Disney + vs. Celebrity Concerts

In an absolutely shocking turn of events, the number one seed of the entire tournament has fallen in the first round! Joe Exotic and company haven’t been fed to the tigers, probably, but they have been trampled by the unstoppable Disney corporate machine (which is probably in all of our futures as well, praise be to the house of mouse). While Disney vs. Netflix was a close battle, the other side of the bracket was an absolute blowout: Celebrity Concerts garnered over 90% of the vote, leaving old sports in its dust. Does this have anything to do with the fact that Disney, trying to wedge their way further into my article, hosted a Disney-themed celebrity concert in the week since the last Quarantine Bracket article? I have no idea; I’m too scared to guess. Who will win in this matchup? The streaming service holding all of our nostalgia, or the celebrities creating some new memories for all of us? You decide!

Video Games Finals: Animal Crossing vs. Mario Sports

If you thought 90% of a vote was a blowout, just wait until you hear what happened in the video game bracket. Doom was slayered (it’s a pun, look it up) by Animal Crossing, as 100% of voters chose the cute animals over killing demons…go figure! In similar fashion, the timeless classic that is Mario Sports crushed the already-old-phenomenon that is Fortnite, much to the relief of myself and parents everywhere. It’s a battle of two of Nintendo’s most beloved properties in the video game finals, as Italy’s most famous plumber takes on quarantine’s favorite video game. Vote as you please — I’m just happy Fortnite isn’t here. 

Reading Finals: Pleasure Reading vs. News Reading

By far the closest matchups of any category, the readings were more or less evenly split. Pleasure Reading beat School Reading by only five votes, forever proving that choosing a book you love is the best thing to do, period. I control the data; that’s what I’m gonna extrapolate. Thankfully, enough voters chose News Reading to fully eradicate Netflix from this competition, meaning my laziness will forever be lost to the sands of time. What will represent reading in the Final Four — keeping up to date, or diving back into a world already known? It’s up to the readers to decide. 

Miscellaneous Finals: Working Out vs. Family Time

Aaaaaaaand we’re back to the blowouts. Apparently, you all hate your activities since Working Out absolutely demolished all types of practicing, taking 90% of the vote. Similarly, all of you haven’t gotten sick of your families —  Family Time won 70% of the vote, knocking out Board Games, and making me very upset at each and every one of you. Alas, it is my duty as a journalist to present only the truth with no bias or opinion, so Family Time shall move on. Who will win in the battle of brawn versus bonds, family versus feeling the burn, hitting the gym versus living with them? I have no stake in this one — y’all already voted my favorite out…you monsters. 

And there you go! The Elite Eight of the Sentinel’s Quarantine Bracket XTREME! By this time next week, the Final Four will be set, and we’ll know who our competitors for the grand prize will be. “What’s the grand prize?” you ask? Vote wisely, and you’ll see soon…