Why are you interviewing yourself?

Too many people see me as a college counselor, and they need to know that I have other talents and skills.

Please tell us what these talents and skills are.

I operate the 30-second shot clock for the girls’ varsity basketball team and the scoreboard for the boys’ varsity baseball team. 

No offense but I don’t think either job requires much talent. I see it as a task. What skill is required? 

I am a bit insulted by the question and your tone. 

Okay. I apologize. Let me reframe the question. What makes your job difficult?

I have the most difficult job at the scorers’ table for basketball. Operating the shot clock is no joke. The shot clock controls the game, and if the shot clock operator makes a mistake, that could change the outcome of the game. But what makes my job really difficult is that the shot clock operator needs to have a good understanding of basketball and I don’t. I don’t know what a double-double is. I think I know what it means when a team is in “bonus” but I won’t risk my life on it. I don’t know who plays what position or what that position does. I am really dumb when it comes to basketball. Really, really dumb.

Wow. The athletics department must have a lot of faith in you if they chose you as the shot clock operator for the girls’ varsity basketball team.

I wasn’t chosen. Exactly zero people signed up to do it. They were desperate. I like to say I was their first choice though I know I was their only choice. 

What about baseball? What makes your job difficult as the scoreboard operator?

I am responsible for recording balls, strikes, outs, and runs all while trying to avoid getting hit in the head by a line drive ball. Sometimes, an opposing coach or player will block my view of the home plate umpire and I have to tell them to move. That can be awkward. 

What makes you most nervous at game time?

For basketball, it is Mr. Haynes. He is intense, he is a perfectionist when it comes to this job, and he knows the game. He operates the scoreboard and he is masterful at it. He keeps score, records fouls, changes the possession arrow and makes sure he has the correct players on the floor. He is a magician. I am in awe of what he does. As his side hustle, he also coaches the players from the scorers’ table but they have no idea because he is talking under his breath. He gets really upset when they don’t take the shot when he tells them to or when they are not in the right position to get a rebound when he has already told them where they should be. But he also keeps me in line. When he thinks I am about to reset the shot clock when it should stay the same, he quietly yells “Don’t touch it.” My thumb is shaking throughout the entire game. This position is not for the faint of heart.

What makes me most nervous at game time for baseball is that I may have to go to the bathroom. To get to the bathroom from the baseball field, you literally have to go over the river and through the woods to get to the athletic center, and it is an uphill walk each way. So I have to make sure I don’t drink anything a couple of hours before the game. That takes good planning and discipline. If I am undisciplined, I suffer because a high school baseball game can last three or more hours. This is not a game for weak bladders. Also, the bulb that signifies that there is one out doesn’t work and people yell at me to put one out on the scoreboard and I can’t because that bulb doesn’t work. Calm down people! The umpire keeps the official count.

Do you get compensated for your work?

Define compensation. If you mean money, the answer is no. But some things are even better than money. When I work the shot clock, Miss Anna often asks if she can get us anything. We always say no, but one day I am going to ask for an N.C. Special #1 from New Canaan Chicken to see what happens. One day, Ms. Garnett, who operates the game clock, brought each of us our own 4.4 ounce bag of Skinny Pop. That was quite a special day. On other days, Miss Anna will reach into her jacket pockets to see what kinds of mints and candies she has hidden in there. We take whatever we can get. We are not picky.

The real compensation comes with doing the baseball scoreboard. The fans (aka the parents) feel sorry for me because baseball games are so long and the weather can be so bad. One Saturday, I hit the motherlode. It was a particularly cold and windy Saturday and we were fortunate to play a doubleheader (but against two different teams) in those cruel, brutal, and unforgiving conditions. The first game started at 11:00 and the last one ended at 5:30. A team parent ordered me a delicious sandwich (Tony’s deli #110) to eat between the games. Then another parent brought me a coffee and fixed it just the way I like it. Next, a parent brought me a cooler filled with homemade Guyanese food (she knows I like all things spicy!!), Miss Nicole gave me a single-serving bag of chips, and then a past parent, who has sons who played on the baseball team, brought me a cup of rich steaming hot chocolate. 

You can eat a three-course meal between pitches in baseball. In basketball, you are lucky if you have time for a sip of water. 

You don’t get paid for this. So why do you do it? You are an administrator and you are very, very old, so you are exempt from after-school duties.

Let’s get one thing straight. I am not very, very old. I am very, very experienced and that makes me exempt. From the beginning of the school year until early November, I know exactly why I work at St. Luke’s. I hear some of my colleagues in college counseling offices at other independent schools talk about how rude and entitled their students are. When I tell them we have fun and that our students and parents are grateful, they wonder how that could be possible. During the winter and spring, I see firsthand how our student-athletes, coaches, parents, and fans behave at games. I have sent emails to athletic directors and heads of school to report the behavior of their students and coaches. I have been yelled at by coaches more times than I care to remember, even when I haven’t done anything wrong. You see and hear a lot of ugly stuff at the scorer’s table or when your table is wedged between the opponent’s dugout and their fans. I feel honored to be part of this community.